Embarrassment. We have all experienced this not so pleasant feeling have we not? We can all attest that embarrassment and shame is not something we are itching to experience any time soon. To be honest, this is something most of us (if not all) would rather do without. I for one do not get embarrassed easily, but a couple of days ago I did. This is what happened…
A few days ago, I decided to stop and pick up a few writing supplies before heading home from work. I was already tired because I had been up late writing the night before. I had it in my mind that I was going to run in, get what I needed and head on home. Since I have a fast gait (something my family and friends tease me about) it did not take me long to get what I came for. By the time I made it to a self checkout register, it was open and available so I was able to quickly scan my things so I could go. A few seconds later, three other people came up behind me to check out. After I scanned my last item, I pulled out and swiped my debit card like I normally do. From there, that is when things took a slight turn.
As I am waiting for this machine to process my transaction, the machine all of a sudden starts to beep. The first thing that popped into my mind was that my card was about to be declined. I kept saying to myself, “Lawd Hammercy! This would happen to me! Don’t do it! Please don’t do it!”
I could feel the shame welling up inside of me even though I knew I had money in my account. Still, I was a little embarrassed because the machine kept beeping and my transaction was waiting to be approved. As I started to look around, I noticed that the people behind me were beginning to wonder if or when my transaction would go through.
One man felt sorry for me and was about to walk up and pay for my things. It was a good thing my transaction went through because I was not going to let him pay for my items. Blame my pride, not me.
As I picked up my things, I looked back at the people in line standing behind me and apologized for the wait. A few jokes were cracked and smiles were exchanged as my BIG boisterous laugh filled the air. All was well now despite my moment of shame and now a few days later I am sitting at my computer telling you about it. Life is funny is it not? Sometimes it can play a crude joke on you. How you deal with an embarrassing situation largely depends on you. Embarrassment and shame sucks, but after that moment passes, life as YOU know it quickly resumes.
Until next time…
What is the first thing you notice when you meet someone for the first time? Their gender? Their race? Their economic and social status? Or all of the above? Most people notice race first and gender second whereas I myself pay particular attention to a person’s character more than anything else. I could care less what color you are let alone your gender. What matters most to me is the type of person that you are because there is much more to a person than what meets the eye. The inside of a person is what should really matter and not so much as the outer shell of a person. Besides, looks fade.
Speaking of looks and beauty, I decided to use my Sunday blog to share a personal story of mine to encourage one young reader that follows my blog. This is something that she is currently dealing with and it is something that I myself encounter every time I get dressed up to go out or whenever I straighten my hair. It is something that irks me every time it happens, but I hope by sharing my own story she will be encouraged and realize that she is not alone. Hopefully, those who make these types of comments or find themselves wanting to make these types of comments will think twice before saying it.
Some of the worst back handed comments I receive are as follows:
- “You are pretty for a Black girl.”
- “You have such long pretty hair for a Black girl. Are you part Dominican or is one of your parents Mixed?”
- “You are smart to be a Black girl.”
- “You speak so well to be Black.”
Lord have mercy! Can you see the problem with comments like those mentioned above? I do not refer to those as compliments because they are far from being a compliment. Comments like that are not only disrespectful, but they are also ignorant. For some, it can even be hurtful. Yes I am Black and yes I am a female, but I am also a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a writer, a blogger and so much more. Being Black and female is only part of who I am and it is not something that I want people to constantly dwell on. See me for who I am and not so much as my color. To my young reader and the many young readers to follow, know that who you are on the outside is just a part of who you are. Who you are on the inside defines you; not so much as to what others have to say about you.
Until next time…
It is so easy for us as humans to find a reason to complain. We are all guilty of displaying this less than desirable trait at some point in our lives; some more than others. Usually when any one of us complains it is out of anger or frustration regarding something that we have deemed as unfair, unjust or harsh. Think about that for a second. Granted, in some cases one may have a legitimate cause to complain, but then there are those cases where one has no basis to complain.
Some individuals have a habit of complaining about almost every little thing. They always seem to gripe about someone or something. These individuals see problems in almost everything and find faults with just about everyone or everything. For these types of individuals, they unfortunately see the negative in almost every situation and in some cases they see most people as the problem.
I was raised to think twice before I complain because it may not be a cause for a complaint. Nine times out of ten I do not have a valid reason for me to complain which is why I rarely if ever complain. Some things you just need to keep to yourself which is why I am tight-lipped about almost everything. My tough as nails Father’s motto was, “Don’t complain unless you really have a reason to.” The ROCK in our family, my Mother, had a rhyming saying that went like this, “Think twice before you complain and then ask yourself what is there to gain?”
Some of us compared to others are extremely fortunate even if we may only have a little. There are millions of people going without food, water and shelter and if you ask me, they have a bona fide reason to complain. Yet, if you had the chance to meet some of them like I have, they hardly ever complain. They are too busy trying to survive while trying to help others. Complaining is the last thing on their minds.
At the end of the day, it is all about perception and how we view things. If we took the time to think twice before ever complaining, we would see that most of our causes for complaint are null and void.
Until next time…
I love to write. Anyone who knows me will tell you that. Writing for me is not only fun, but it is also very therapeutic. I enjoy taking my wild imagination and spinning it into something other readers will enjoy reading. Whether it is something taken from my own personal life or something that I have completely made up, writing gives me the perfect opportunity to share my thoughts and experiences with the world. As I get closer and closer to finishing up my current writing project Underneath the Pecan Tree, I get a little emotional when I reflect on how far I have come since publishing my debut novel Poka City Blues. Granted, I still have a ways to go when it comes to establishing myself as a writer, but some progress is better than no progress. To add to that notion, I have also met some wonderful fellow writers, authors and bloggers along the way. Yes, as I look back and reflect on my writing journey, the BEST part about being a writer is meeting and communicating with those who appreciate writing just as much as you do. That to me is what really makes writing worth my while.