I was asked what my biggest personal struggle is and to post my response on my blog. I have no qualms about answering that question because we all have some type of struggle or two. With that being said, I want to use this opportunity to show that no matter what your struggle or struggles are, it’s not an excuse for bad, reckless or foolish behavior. I used to think and be that way years ago, but now I know much better.
My biggest personal struggle is my temper. I don’t have a bad temper, I struggle with a violent temper. It was nothing for me to fight a male or a female because I know what I’m capable of doing in a fight. Let me tell you, I highly despise that part of me. I never went looking for a fight, but it always seemed to find me. Be it male or female, it usually boiled down to them wanting to fight me because of my small frame and quiet demeanor. I’m ashamed to say that I secretly got a “kick” out of it and I’ll tell you why below.
I knew that these individuals were thinking I would be an easy beat because of my small frame. I also knew that once we would start fighting they would soon realize that they had made a terrible, terrible mistake. By that time, it’s too late because they had crossed a line that had serious repercussions. I wasn’t aiming to just beat them, I was aiming to really, really physically hurt them with just my two hands and I did. How sad and such shameful behavior on my part. There was NO need for all that. Such horrible, horrible behavior.
You may be wondering, how am I able to deal with such a violent temper? Prayer first and foremost is my biggest help and second of all, staying away from people or situations that have the potential to set me off. You see, it takes an incredibly strong person to walk away from a fight. Even if that person started it, be the bigger person and walk away. Especially if you know you could seriously damage that person. We’ve all heard of individuals who are now in prison because they allowed their temper to get the best of them. If only they took the time to stop and think before they reacted.
I honestly wish I could go back and do things differently, but I know I can’t. What I can do is make sure that I don’t act so shameful and foolish by stooping down to such a despicable level again. When you know better, you can do better. Hands that used to be scuffed up and stubby are now smooth and pretty. A body that used to be ruled by a violent temper is now in control (for the most part) and at peace. If I feel myself getting angry at a person, I immediately start to pray and / or remove myself from the situation or person.
You can do anything you set your mind to and I choose to set my mind on positive things and helping people. Life is much more enjoyable when you are doing things that promotes peace, love and happiness. If you are going through the same thing or have some other struggle, I sincerely hope you too will find a better way to cope and deal with it. I’m rooting for you!
Until next time…be of good cheer and full of peace.