The Angry Black Woman 

The Angry Black Woman. I’m sure many of us have heard this metaphor before. As a Black woman, I can relate to some of the recent articles publishedThe Angry Black Woman metaphor (for those of you who may not know) is commonly used to describe Black women as loud, angry, argumentative and defensive. How sad seeing how most Black women are actually the complete opposite. The Angry Black Woman is just another negative stereotype being perpetuated as true.

I will never forget an experiment that was shown in my Sociology class in college. Six women from different racial backgrounds were lined up in a video and given several statements to read out loud in the same tone of voice. When a group of 120 surveyors were asked who they thought were defensive, 97% picked the Black woman. When asked why, they stated it’s because the Black woman looked and sounded angry. Unbelievable.

I can’t tell you how many times I myself have made a statement or suggestion within the workplace and it was taken the wrong way. I always get so tickled when someone White makes the same or almost similar statement as I have and it’s well received or applauded. Go figure, yet its to be expected. So many Black women’s confidence or directness gets mistaken for defensiveness and I find that absolutely ridiculous.

One thing I will never do is apologize for the woman that I am and I will not be made to feel less than someone else just because my skin happens to be darker. Just because my personality happens to be different from yours, that does not mean I am defensive or argumentative. Besides, there are angry, defensive women in all races, not just Black.

Until next time… 

Mixed Feelings 

Heya Everybody on this rainy Sunday! It’s raining here where I am, but I’m loving it. I recently stumbled across a post on Instagram and decided to share my thoughts on my blog. 

Back in 2013, there was a big event in New York City called You can touch my hair. It garnered a lot of attention and opened up a huge dialogue among a lot of different races. Now, there is talk about having another one. The You can touch my hair event allowed strangers to come up and touch Black women’s hair. If you are a Black woman like myself, you more than likely know why this event was held. For those of you who are not Black, I will explain below.

There is a huge unspoken fascination with Black or Afro textured hair. Many are intrigued by it and that fascination often leads to unwanted touching. I can’t tell you how many times I had strangers rake their hands through my hair or even “pet” my hair. It’s the worse for me when I wear my hair in a twist out or when I press it straight because I have so much of hair. It kills me when someone asks, ‘Can I touch your hair?’ and before I can even give an answer their hands are already in my head. If you don’t gone on!


The You can touch my hair event allowed strangers to walk up and touch Black women’s hair without having to ask or worry about the fear of being told ‘No.’ What were the top responses?

1. I’ve always wanted to touch a Black person’s hair!

2. Wow! It’s actually really soft.

3. It smells like chocolate. (What they were actually smelling is cocoa butter). 

4. I had no idea Black people’s hair can grow this long.

5. I thought it would feel greasy.

My late paternal Grandmother who was Native American would say that Black people’s hair was magic because at first glance, it looks really short. But when blown out and pressed straight, it’s actually much longer. I’ve had people ask me if I was wearing a weave because my hair is so long. Nope, that is what we in the Black natural hair community call “shrinkage.”

So, as far as strangers coming up and touching my hair, ask me first. I would never walk up and put my hands in a stranger’s hair and I don’t understand why so many people feel it’s okay to do that to a large amount of Black people, especially Black women. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve had this happen to me on some of my jobs. Geez Louise!

Would I ever participate in an event such as this? Oh no! Honey Bunches of No! But to each their own…

Until next time… 

Black Female Problems 

I know some people don’t mean any harm, but c’mon… 

Allow this writer to deviate for just a moment. There was a picture floating around of me (not anymore now that I had it removed) where I had allowed my hair to grow really long. I had my hair blown out and flat ironed straight. Every single time this writer allows her hair to grow really long and straightens it, I have to hear or read such shameful back handed comments such as:

Omgosh she’s so cute to be Black.

You’re so pretty for a Black girl.

I’m not really attracted to Black women, but you’re beautiful. 

That’s not her hair, it’s a weave!

If her hair is really that long, she’s got to be mixed. 

Stop saying she’s Black, she’s obviously half Dominican. Black women don’t look like that. 

As a Black woman, comments like that are not amusing whatsoever. Statements like that insinuates that Black women can’t be pretty and that only mixed Black women can be attractive. Not only that, to assume that my hair is a weave or that my hair only grows long because people assume I’m mixed also insinuates that Black women can’t grow long hair. Take it from this writer, when you give a compliment leave race out of it. There’s beauty in all of us and that is an undeniable fact. 

Until next time…keep on writing! 

Does My Melanin Offend You? 

As a woman of color, I have had my share of racism and prejudices. It comes with the territory I guess of being Black. Many people today still feel and share the belief that Black people are unequal, uneducated and of a lower class. It has been said many times that cooking in the kitchen or cleaning up after folks is what Black people do best. Doing anything other than that or better than that poses a threat towards those with such warped beliefs. For some, it is almost too much for them to see another Black person do well, let alone better than them. For others, that connotation is simply unbelievable. 

Time and time again I have had to listen to my family and close friends vent about how they are treated at their places of employment. Some of it is subtle racism and some of it is not. There were times when my mouth was left open after hearing some of the things they went through because I could not fathom some of the things they were telling me. It is enough to make you angry and it is enough to break your heart. 

My subtle encounters with racism and prejudice usually happens when people find out “smart” or knowledgeable I am when it comes to a lot of things. I am sure at first glance I am seen as a small Black woman with not much to offer. As soon as they realize I am a far cry from what they once believed, that is when I begin to encounter such issues at my places of employment. I have not had a job yet where this did not happen to me. Needless to say, I never pay them any mind because a lot of it is due to insecurity issues and of course, hate. 

My melanin is what makes me stand out and my melanin is what makes me unique. Why should I apologize for being educated, motivated and Black? If my melanin offends you, I hate it for you. My cocoa butter brown skin is not going anywhere. It will continue to be radiant and glisten in the sunlight. If that offends you, oh well you will be alright. I will continue to block you out like I have done all the rest. Being the better person is what I do best! 

Until next time…