Nah

We live in a world where the definition of beauty is warped and I mean severely warped. I often blog about Black people and the Black experience because well, I’m Black. Hear goes nothing.

Due to slavery and its long-lasting stereotypical effects, many Black women struggle to find themselves beautiful. Some feel that in order to be seen as beautiful and acceptable, they must have straight hair, a narrow nose, thin lips, light skin or long hair. I have no such features except the long hair. Broad features are just as beautiful.

This sad and unfortunate way of thinking has lead some to go to drastic measures to achieve such looks. How sad.

I’ve had some well-meaning Black women over the years tell me that in order for me to be more acceptable, I need to straighten my hair more often. Well, here’s the thing: I’m going to straighten my hair only when I feel like it. Not because I want to be accepted. If I find my natural hair acceptable, that’s all that matters.

The last time I wore my hair straight was six years ago after cutting six inches off. Even then I didn’t like it that much because I prefer my hair in its natural state. To each it’s own. 🙃

Not too long ago, I chopped my hair off again and I love it. Did I consider the thoughts and opinions of others? Nah. It’s my hair. I know how to keep my hair professional while wearing it in its natural state. 🤷🏽‍♀️

In all seriousness good people, I want you to ask yourself, who really has the right to define if you are beautiful? I’ll go ahead and tell you, no one but you.

Until next time…

Black Salon Problems

Good Morning, Good Morning! I hope to find each of you doing well. I was tasked to blog about my own personal experiences regarding the popular hash tag memes #BlackSalonProblems. This is basically where Black women gripe about their unpleasant experiences in some Black salons.

Lord have mercy. Black salon problems. I only have a few that I can personally relate to because I rarely go to the salon. However, when it comes to #BlackSalonProblems, here are my gripes:

Seeing how I have tons of hair, you’d think they’d give me enough towels to wrap around my hair. My hair holds water for goodness sakes. Geezus!

I don’t play when it comes to pressing combs and flat irons because I’m terrified of them. I’ll let you slide with that first bump of heat, but after the second one, you will be dismissed. Sorry, not sorry….😐😭😫😡

Now I know it takes my hair a while to get dry, but dog bite it, you’re not going to keep telling me my hair ain’t dry after I been under the dryer for 2 1/2 hours. Quit it! 😡

This next one kills me. Some Black salons try to be slick by throwing out an extra charge because my hair is thick. Nope, we’re not going to go there because I told you from the get go! Stop playing 😂.

Alright everyone, have a great weekend and be safe out there. Until next time…

Natural Hair and the Workplace

Hello how’s it going? I hope that each of you are doing well. I’m a little late with this post so forgive me because I was supposed to blog about this two weeks ago.

I was asked to blog about my natural hair experiences within the workplace and to give my own thoughts on being natural within the workplace. Let me begin by saying that I have never experienced any of the negativity that some Black women with natural hair have experienced. I’m not sure if it has something to do with the area or job market, but my personal experiences have been positive.

In the past, I would wear my hair in twist outs or braid outs and I would even straighten my hair a couple times a year. The only thing I didn’t like were the constant hands in my head because I have so much of hair and it’s very long. I have never been turned down for a job because of my natural hair and I have never been asked to change my natural hair or style.

When I’m invited to speak or participate in seminars, I’m always complimented on my natural hair. Mind you, these seminars and speaking engagements are hosted and attended by predominantly White people. They are more intrigued by my style of choice and my hair’s length more than anything.

Lately I’ve been wearing my natural hair in a high puff at work and a few times I had my hair in box braids and crochet braids for a few weeks. Not once have I been asked to straighten my hair, to take my braids out or to even change my hairstyle. If anything, I’m given compliments like all my other jobs.

As far as being natural within the workplace, I have no complaints. Being natural makes me stand out and I love it because I enjoy being different. For the women whose experiences are not as positive as mine, my heart goes out to you.

Until next time…

Irrelevant

Good Morning! Happy Morning to you all! I’ve been participating in an awesome educational forum where people can post various questions to Black people. One question in particular gave me an opportunity to educate a few members. Keep reading and I’ll tell you why.

Some members who have seen pictures of my hair straighten made the comment that my hair is only long because of my Native American and my recently discovered Middle Eastern ancestry. Wrong, completely wrong and irrelevant. By the way, I don’t fault MyHeritage for not being able to pick up all my ancestry since they aren’t advanced as Ancestry DNA, but in time they’ll get there…

Now, I will say that my hair growth may have something to do with my genetics, but it’s not the main reason. I take care of my hair, all of it. From the kinky to the wavy to the curly and even the straight. My four textures are long because of me and how I take care of my hair.

A few weeks before my father passed, I cut off a good bit of my hair and it’s now to my armpit instead of to my elbows. My hair growth and length potential is NOT solely because of my Native American and Middle Eastern ancestry. It’s because I know how to take care of my hair. Once I explained all of that to them, they left the forum a bit more educated.

Knowledge is power!

Until next time…

(Almost) Every Black Woman’s Nostalgia 

Ask any Black woman who isn’t “tender headed” or had a Mama that wasn’t “heavy handed” , what they looked forward to the most as a child? An overwhelming amount of Black women would say “getting their hair did.” Whether it was by their Mama, Grandmama, Auntie or Madea, it was something most of us looked forward to.

You know those memories when you were called to sit on the floor in between their legs while they watched their favorite TV show as they scratched and greased your scalp. I’m telling you, it’s one of the best feelings in the world! For me, it was either Good Times, The Cosby Show, Showtime at the Apollo, or some other 70s or 80s show playing on the television when it was my turn.

When you were getting your hair styled, you knew it was gonna be either twisted, plaited, braided, beaded or corn rowed! For my Mama, it was the style that would last the longest! Braids won most of the time and when she didn’t feel like fighting with all our hair because me and my sisters have A LOT, she would twist it up and send us on our way LOL!

What I loved the most about those moments was the time, care and above all else the love my Mama put in our hair. This is something that has been passed on from generation to generation and if you take note of the styles, it’s clear to see where it came from: our  African ancestors. The designs and time spent to make our hair look beautiful and different is something to be grateful for and cherished.

Memories like this is almost every Black woman’s nostalgia which is why even when we are grown, we still love to get our scalp scratched and greased. For my non-Black followers and subscribers, click hereherehere and here to see exactly what I’m talking about. Enjoy! 

Until next time…

Mixed Feelings 

Heya Everybody on this rainy Sunday! It’s raining here where I am, but I’m loving it. I recently stumbled across a post on Instagram and decided to share my thoughts on my blog. 

Back in 2013, there was a big event in New York City called You can touch my hair. It garnered a lot of attention and opened up a huge dialogue among a lot of different races. Now, there is talk about having another one. The You can touch my hair event allowed strangers to come up and touch Black women’s hair. If you are a Black woman like myself, you more than likely know why this event was held. For those of you who are not Black, I will explain below.

There is a huge unspoken fascination with Black or Afro textured hair. Many are intrigued by it and that fascination often leads to unwanted touching. I can’t tell you how many times I had strangers rake their hands through my hair or even “pet” my hair. It’s the worse for me when I wear my hair in a twist out or when I press it straight because I have so much of hair. It kills me when someone asks, ‘Can I touch your hair?’ and before I can even give an answer their hands are already in my head. If you don’t gone on!


The You can touch my hair event allowed strangers to walk up and touch Black women’s hair without having to ask or worry about the fear of being told ‘No.’ What were the top responses?

1. I’ve always wanted to touch a Black person’s hair!

2. Wow! It’s actually really soft.

3. It smells like chocolate. (What they were actually smelling is cocoa butter). 

4. I had no idea Black people’s hair can grow this long.

5. I thought it would feel greasy.

My late paternal Grandmother who was Native American would say that Black people’s hair was magic because at first glance, it looks really short. But when blown out and pressed straight, it’s actually much longer. I’ve had people ask me if I was wearing a weave because my hair is so long. Nope, that is what we in the Black natural hair community call “shrinkage.”

So, as far as strangers coming up and touching my hair, ask me first. I would never walk up and put my hands in a stranger’s hair and I don’t understand why so many people feel it’s okay to do that to a large amount of Black people, especially Black women. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve had this happen to me on some of my jobs. Geez Louise!

Would I ever participate in an event such as this? Oh no! Honey Bunches of No! But to each their own…

Until next time… 

The Mother Load

Hey! Hey! Hey! Whatchu doin’? I hope that things are going well on your end. I am feeling pretty awesome at the moment because I have only 10% of my book left to be edited and formatted!!! Oh yeah! 💪 Thank goodness! I am waiting for my book cover to be finished so I can share it with you. I refuse to share the title until the book cover is finalized because I want this cover to not only attract readers, but also speak to readers. I will go ahead and say this, it will be revealed next week. I just received word. Ahhhh Shucky Ducky now! Get ready and stay tuned.

On to another subject now because I am combining two posts into one, I was asked about my biggest natural hair struggle. For this woman, my hair’s thickness and growth is my biggest struggle. That is why I mainly keep it twisted up and under wraps. I hate fooling with it! KMSL! 😂 One, it takes forever to wash and detangle and two, it is heavy. Ever heard of the term “heavy hair?” It is real and it exists. Whenever I try to take a picture of my hair, it is hard for me to capture all my hair in a pic. As my Mom always say, “Nita’s hair grows like it’s on steroids.” That right there is the truth! For this writer and blogger, having long thick hair is both a blessing and a curse. The biggest thing on me is my hair. 

Until next time. See you next week for the revealing of my book title and cover. I’m sooooo excited.