We live in a world where the definition of beauty is warped and I mean severely warped. I often blog about Black people and the Black experience because well, I’m Black. Hear goes nothing.

Due to slavery and its long-lasting stereotypical effects, many Black women struggle to find themselves beautiful. Some feel that in order to be seen as beautiful and acceptable, they must have straight hair, a narrow nose, thin lips, light skin or long hair. I have no such features except the long hair. Broad features are just as beautiful.

This sad and unfortunate way of thinking has lead some to go to drastic measures to achieve such looks. How sad.

I’ve had some well-meaning Black women over the years tell me that in order for me to be more acceptable, I need to straighten my hair more often. Well, here’s the thing: I’m going to straighten my hair only when I feel like it. Not because I want to be accepted. If I find my natural hair acceptable, that’s all that matters.

The last time I wore my hair straight was six years ago after cutting six inches off. Even then I didn’t like it that much because I prefer my hair in its natural state. To each it’s own. πŸ™ƒ

Not too long ago, I chopped my hair off again and I love it. Did I consider the thoughts and opinions of others? Nah. It’s my hair. I know how to keep my hair professional while wearing it in its natural state. πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

In all seriousness good people, I want you to ask yourself, who really has the right to define if you are beautiful? I’ll go ahead and tell you, no one but you.

Until next time…

My First Big Move

Good Evening Good People! I hope that everyone is doing well. Quite a bit has happened since my last post, but for the most part, it has been good. Grateful and thankful for that.

I was offered another job a few states away and I’m trying to get settled. Moving is always hectic but when you are moving by yourself, it’s cha-cha-chaotic! Adding to that, my writing had to be put on hold because I’m still trying to get situated and settled. It’s been two weeks already, sheesh!

I can’t wait to get back to my writing but first, I have to work on my swollen feet. Running up and down my stairs to move and driving for hours a few states away has taken a toll on my little feet. My feet ain’t NEVA been this swollen…

This writer hopes to be back in another month with some more good news so stay tuned.

Whatever it is you are aspiring to do, I sincerely hope that it happens for you.

Until next time…

Anneka McLean

I recently stumbled across one of Anneka McLean’s videos on YouTube and I felt compelled to blog about her. I honestly never heard of her until I clicked on one of her videos. In this particular video, she talked about how she was often mocked and made fun of for having full lips. A feature of hers that stands out when you first look at her, but in a good way.

I appreciated the fact that even though she was made fun of for having full lips, she never felt self-conscious or ashamed of it. In fact, she embraced it.

As a woman with full lips, I love my lips. Whenever I wear lipstick or any type of glossy lip color, I get loads of compliments. The same can be said for Anneka. Her lips in my personal opinion is her best feature and I think she is beautiful. Her smile is even more beautiful if you ask me.

Anneka, like so many other Black women like myself, is not afraid to tout her pout with lip colors that were once frowned upon for Black women. Anneka takes pride in her looks, like we all should, and I think it’s extremely important that we don’t make fun of other people’s physical characteristics. The definition of beauty is not just narrow, it’s broad too.

Until next time…

Why Should It Matter? (Repost)

A good friend of mine shared a link to an online forum where users pick apart the features of famous athletes, singers, actors and actresses. The purpose of this is to specifically see if these famous people have any Black ancestry. Because I respect my blog way too much, I will not share nor post this disgusting racist forum on my blog. With that being said, there was one long thread that caught my attention.

The thread was about former MLB player Grady Sizemore. This thread was full of White women who were praising (initially) just how “hot” and sexy he was. What changed all that? A White male user shared that he is half Black. Oh my goodness! You should’ve seen how those women back peddled from their comments.

Grady soon became everything from a boon, to a monkey and every other racist name associated with Black people. No longer was he the “hot” and sexy MLB player…

So because they now know that he has Black in him, half Black to be exact, he’s no longer attractive? Grady has always been proud of his Black father and never hid the fact that he is half Black. Why should it even matter?

Is being Black or having Black ancestry that bad? Of course not. Having Black ancestry, whether great or small, is nothing to be ashamed of. Nor should it be something to hide. Adding to that, having any type of Black ancestry doesn’t make a person less attractive or less human.

It’s a shame how the racist and prejudiced slave mentality still exists in non-Black people today. Sheesh! You know it’s bad when they start looking for Black features in other people.

Until next time…


You see that number? That’s my current weight good people. I’m now 148 lbs! I’m no longer 164 lbs!!! I dropped quite a bit early on just by cutting down my soda intake to once a week. I’m going to assume that was “water weight” that I lost at first. I’ll take it because it definitely wasn’t helping my PCOS!

Changing my eating habits has been the hardest struggle, but I’m determined to feed and treat my body much better. Since I’ve eliminated most of my soda intake, the bumps and discoloration from drinking way too many sodas has almost cleared up around my neck and chin area. My neck is also becoming more defined as I continue to lose weight. Try not to get freaked out by my open eyes lol…

My Gazelle has been a lifesaver too because I can work out in my own home. It doesn’t put a strain on my bowed legs and it has helped to tone my arms and legs. Soon, I’ll be focusing on shaping them. And for the ladies with much booty in the back like myself, it tones and lifts that too. Hey Hey!

Note: Please don’t ask me, why am I standing so wide? I’m bowed legged so this is how I stand when my legs are “closed”. I can’t help it. My knees and thighs don’t touch. 😩

If you been struggling with trying to eat healthy and staying healthy, start a friendly competition with your family or friends. That’s what got me started. Once you get started, please don’t stop. I’m rooting for you and I hope you are rooting for yourself too. You got this! πŸ’ͺπŸΎπŸ˜‰

Until next time…


This is getting ridiculous. If you’ve been paying attention to the news lately, you are probably familiar with Blackfishing. For those of you who aren’t, Blackfishing is when a non-Black person “pretends” to be Black or half Black. Why? Because it makes them look more appealing or “exotic” when they darken their skin with tanning products and contour their features to look more “Afro centric“. How disrespectful.

Some have went as far as buying butt pads and getting butt and lip injections to fool other people into thinking they are Black or half Black. Why? Because round buttocks, full lips and curvy hips is very common amongst Black women; physical features that have been mocked for centuries. To “seal” the look, they sport the most popular hairstyles amongst Black women. How disturbing because some look absolutely ridiculous.

As more are being “called out” on their Blackfishing behavior, some have tried to lie by saying they get really dark when exposed to the sun. Nah, not that dark. That backfired in the worst way because other users uploaded damaging photos of them. When they have no other lies to spew, some finally admit what millions of people already knew: they like appropriating Black culture and “certain” Black features. Say what you want, but that also shows they suffer with low self-esteem.

These Blackfishing women have no problem appropriating Black culture and “certain” Black features, but they don’t want to accept everything else that comes along with it like daily racism, prejudice and discrimination. Oh, okay. I see. Nah, not really. At the end of the day, Blackfishing is disrespectful, it’s deceitful and it’s downright offensive. As for those who fake being Black or half Black for profit, they should be ashamed of themselves.

Black people have been hated and envied for centuries and it’s still prevalent today. Now we have to contend with non-Black people “faking” to be Black or half Black. Take pride in yourself. Don’t try to look and be like somebody else. Don’t live your life as a lie.

Until next time…


I was having a discussion with one of my good friends the other day about a matter that had been weighing on her heart. This friend of mine lives in another state, but we talk and communicate frequently. Before blogging about this “issue”, I asked her if she would be OK with me sharing it. She agreed without hesitation; hence this blog post.

My dear friend was a little discouraged because a Black female colleague was making fun of her natural hair. What made it worse is that this Black female colleague was laughing it up with some of their non-Black colleagues. How sad. My friend, who has a head full of hair too, rocks her long natural hair in braid outs exactly like this…

Beautiful isn’t?

For a moment, my friend contemplated relaxing her natural hair, but thankfully I was able to convince her otherwise. I shared with her my own experience of how a Black woman at my job made fun of my natural hair. It doesn’t happen often, but every now and then I encounter it.

This particular Black woman was also going around making negative comments about my hair to other non-Black colleagues. She told them that I should straighten my hair because Black folks real hair don’t look right. How sad and self-hating.

Even after hearing that, I was still kind to her because I felt sorry for her. Why? Because comments like that reflect a form of self-hate and low self-esteem. It’s nothing wrong with a Black woman wearing her hair relaxed, but if she demeans her own race’s Afro-textured hair, that’s a problem. A self-hating problem. Thankfully, most Black women aren’t like this.

However you choose to wear your hair, wear it proudly. Don’t bash a person because they choose to wear their hair relaxed, natural, permed, curly or any other way. If they like it and are comfortable with it, that’s all that matters. At the end of the day, it’s all about self-love and there is no need to spew hate at that. πŸ€—β€οΈπŸ€—

Until next time…