I was having a discussion with one of my good friends the other day about a matter that had been weighing on her heart. This friend of mine lives in another state, but we talk and communicate frequently. Before blogging about this “issue”, I asked her if she would be OK with me sharing it. She agreed without hesitation; hence this blog post.

My dear friend was a little discouraged because a Black female colleague was making fun of her natural hair. What made it worse is that this Black female colleague was laughing it up with some of their non-Black colleagues. How sad. My friend, who has a head full of hair too, rocks her long natural hair in braid outs exactly like this…

Beautiful isn’t?

For a moment, my friend contemplated relaxing her natural hair, but thankfully I was able to convince her otherwise. I shared with her my own experience of how a Black woman at my job made fun of my natural hair. It doesn’t happen often, but every now and then I encounter it.

This particular Black woman was also going around making negative comments about my hair to other non-Black colleagues. She told them that I should straighten my hair because Black folks real hair don’t look right. How sad and self-hating.

Even after hearing that, I was still kind to her because I felt sorry for her. Why? Because comments like that reflect a form of self-hate and low self-esteem. It’s nothing wrong with a Black woman wearing her hair relaxed, but if she demeans her own race’s Afro-textured hair, that’s a problem. A self-hating problem. Thankfully, most Black women aren’t like this.

However you choose to wear your hair, wear it proudly. Don’t bash a person because they choose to wear their hair relaxed, natural, permed, curly or any other way. If they like it and are comfortable with it, that’s all that matters. At the end of the day, it’s all about self-love and there is no need to spew hate at that. 🤗❤️🤗

Until next time…

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Blogger. Writer. Logophile.

2 thoughts on “Self-Hating”

  1. I had this same problem kinda similar I dont know one of my family members said ur hair doesnt grow past its shoulder length but with me having weave I can put it in different styles and look like a different person I guess they thought it was suppose to offend me but why would you need to try to attack my hair. Cuz I’m mixed but u have hair but It was an ignorant comment i have poetry if you want to check it out

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree, no one should attack your hair for how you choose to wear it. I think some Black people don’t realize that such comments about another person’s hair can be offensive and depending on the statement, self-hating. You are beautiful and keep that confident spirit! 👍🏾

      Liked by 1 person

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