What is the first thing you notice when you meet someone for the first time? Their gender? Their race? Their economic and social status? Or all of the above? Most people notice race first and gender second whereas I myself pay particular attention to a person’s character more than anything else. I could care less what color you are let alone your gender. What matters most to me is the type of person that you are because there is much more to a person than what meets the eye. The inside of a person is what should really matter and not so much as the outer shell of a person. Besides, looks fade.
Speaking of looks and beauty, I decided to use my Sunday blog to share a personal story of mine to encourage one young reader that follows my blog. This is something that she is currently dealing with and it is something that I myself encounter every time I get dressed up to go out or whenever I straighten my hair. It is something that irks me every time it happens, but I hope by sharing my own story she will be encouraged and realize that she is not alone. Hopefully, those who make these types of comments or find themselves wanting to make these types of comments will think twice before saying it.
Some of the worst back handed comments I receive are as follows:
- “You are pretty for a Black girl.”
- “You have such long pretty hair for a Black girl. Are you part Dominican or is one of your parents Mixed?”
- “You are smart to be a Black girl.”
- “You speak so well to be Black.”
Lord have mercy! Can you see the problem with comments like those mentioned above? I do not refer to those as compliments because they are far from being a compliment. Comments like that are not only disrespectful, but they are also ignorant. For some, it can even be hurtful. Yes I am Black and yes I am a female, but I am also a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a writer, a blogger and so much more. Being Black and female is only part of who I am and it is not something that I want people to constantly dwell on. See me for who I am and not so much as my color. To my young reader and the many young readers to follow, know that who you are on the outside is just a part of who you are. Who you are on the inside defines you; not so much as to what others have to say about you.
Until next time…